Losing the Doctor
by Dr. Michaela Quinn
Summary: What would happen to the Sully-Cooper family, as well as the town of Colorado Springs, without Michaela?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: One of the hardest stories I've ever written….. Not sure how I got the idea or why, but here we go. Most of chapter one (and two) will be from the episode in season 6 "**_**Point Blank"**_** so those who haven't seen it will know what's going on. **

**P.O.V. Michaela**

I had just made lunch plans with Dorothy when there was a fervent knock on the door. I was putting a file in the cabinet, when I spoke with my back to the door.

"_Come in."_ I was answered with another fervent knock. I walked over to the door, but not before there was a third knock on the door. I didn't know why this person continued knocking. Everybody in Colorado Springs knew that they could come right in. I was always in the clinic, if the door was locked it meant I wasn't there. But when I opened the door and saw a strange man, I realized why he didn't open the door. He wasn't from Colorado Springs.

"_Can I help you?" I asked._

"_Are you the doctor?"_ I stood there and exhaled. People still had trouble believing I was a medical doctor.

"_Yes, I'm Doctor Michaela Quinn."_ I responded. He looked around nervously before he opened his jacket. I wasn't sure what was going on, and I didn't have a chance to react before he pulled a gun out of his pocket. My eyes widened when I saw him hold it out facing me and I gasped. I knew it was coming and I wasn't sure when it was going to happen. This man pulled the trigger and I could feel deep pain where I knew the bullet went through. I fell to the ground disoriented as he rushed off. He got onto a horse and rode away. I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath and remain conscious, but it wasn't easy. My eyes started to close and I tried not to fight the pain. I heard footsteps in the clinic.

"_Michaela!"_ Hank jumped into the doorway of the clinic. I was gasping for air.

"_Hank." _I said gently. He fell on the floor next to me and picked me up.

"_Hang on Michaela. Hang on. Oh my." _As he carried me out of the clinic, there were people looking around. _"Get out of the way."_ He said to them. I was falling out of consciousness when I heard commotion. "_Someone get me a wagon!"_ I heard Hank yell. As my eyes opened briefly, I saw we were in the middle of the road. I felt a hand underneath me.

"_Oh my, Michaela!" _Dorothy's gentle voice floated into my ears.

"_We've gotta get her to Andrew's."_ Hank replied.

"_I'll get Katie."_ I felt Dorothy's hands pull away from my body as I took slow breaths. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. I was worried about Katie, but I knew she'd be alright if Dorothy had her. We stood in silence and I was almost out of it, when I heard Hank holler to somebody I couldn't see.

"_Hurry up!"_ He yelled. Hank rushed over to a wagon and they put me in the back of it. I looked up long enough to see Cloud Dancing with me.

"_I'll go get Sully."_ I heard Loren say. He must have been standing next to the wagon. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him.

"_Somebody get Daniel! Tell him the guy who shot her done shot the hotel and had on a gray jacket." _

"_There's a pressure wound right here." _Cloud Dancing said applying pressure to the wound. Hank put his hand over the bullet wound replacing Cloud Dancing's.

"_Hang on Michaela. Go! To the Chateau! GO!" _I felt the wagon jerk as we started moving and Hank laid his jacket on top of me.

* * *

><p><strong>Third person P.O.V.<strong>

Hank carried Michaela into Andrew's clinic and laid her on the table with Dr. Andrew Cook and Cloud Dancing right there beside him. Andrew rushed over to the desk and started looking through his instruments grabbing a cloth and his stethoscope.

"_She's losing a lot of blood."_ Andrew stated and he pulled the stethoscope out of his ears. "_The bullet must have hit the subclavian artery." _

"_Is she going to die?"_ Hank asked. Both Hank and Cloud Dancing looked at Andrew. He hesitated for a moment and then handed him the cloth.

"_Take the bottle on the top shelf on the right. Carbolic acid." _Andrew opened his medicine cabinet with Hank behind him. "_I want you to first wipe away the blood with a clean cloth and then spray the wound with the acid."_ He said never answering their question. He dug through the drawer and turned to Cloud Dancing when he grabbed what he needed. _"Cloud Dancing, there are fresh linens in the top of that shelf." _Cloud Dancing grabbed some towels off the shelf and turned back to them. Andrew groaned.

"_What?" _Hank asked.

"_I'm going to need very fine souschering thread to sew up the artery."_

"_You don't got any?" _Hank questioned surprised.

"_Preston didn't think it was necessary at a health resort." _

"_I have seen Michaela use sewing thread to stitch up wounds." _Cloud Dancing chimed in.

"_I guess we don't have much choice."_ Andrew stated.

"_I'll go get some."_ Cloud Dancing replied and rushed out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>P.O.V. Andrew<strong>

I worked my hardest with the help of Hank and Cloud Dancing to sew the wound. It was quite an emotional procedure for all of us. My mentor in Colorado Springs, the one person who really believed in my medical ability, needed me more than anything and I wanted to help her. Hank asked me if she was going to die and I didn't want to answer his question because I really wasn't sure. I have sewn up dozens of bullet wounds since I was in medical school; but each patient and wound is very different. I was afraid if we didn't get to her soon enough that we'd lose her. We needed to get through the procedure and see what happened after that. Until then, I wasn't sure what would happen to Michaela.


	2. Chapter 2

Dorothy, Jake and Brian stood outside the Chateau clinic with several other townspeople. Loren came riding up and got off his horse as Jake walked over to him.

"_Any word yet?"_

"_Nothing yet."_

"_I found Matthew. He said that Sully's up in the hills on a survey. He's ridden out after him."_

"_Anybody seen who shot her?" _Jake asked.

"_Yeah, Hank did." _Loren replied with a sneer. _"Horace gave Daniel the description. He's riding out to get the man."_ Just then, Cloud Dancing walked out of the clinic and over to them.

"_She's survived the operation."_

"_She gonna live?" _Jake asked.

"_Andrew says it's too soon to know." _Jake and Dorothy exchanged glances.

"_Can I see her?"_ Brian asked.

"_Yes, they are moving her to one of the rooms."_ Cloud Dancing replied and he walked into the clinic.

"_Tell Horace to wire Colleen. She'll want to take the next train out." _Loren nodded at Dorothy's statement.

"_Alright." _He motioned for Jake to come with him and they walked away. Cloud Dancing and Dorothy then walked into the clinic.

* * *

><p>Sully was out surveying the land when Matthew rode up on his horse frantically.<p>

"_Sully!"_

"_What's wrong?" _He turned to face him.

"_It's Dr. Mike. She's been shot. They are taking her out to Andrew's clinic." _Sully jumped on his horse and they headed out quickly to go back into town.

* * *

><p>Andrew and Dorothy were in the room with Brian as Michaela lay on the bed.<p>

"_I'll be just outside if you need me."_ Dorothy told him in her usual quiet and gentle voice. Andrew walked her out of the room without saying anything. Brian rested on his knees with his elbows on the bed next to her.

"_Ma? It's me, Brian. I'm here. Don't, don't leave us Ma, please. Don't leave us." _Brian was crying as he spoke.

* * *

><p>When Sully and Matthew got to the clinic, Brian was sitting outside with Dorothy. She was holding Katie with one hand and had her other arm around Brian.<p>

"It's going to be okay, Brian. Your Ma's a strong person. She's going to make it through." Sully and Matthew walked up to them. Matthew hugged Brian and let his younger brother melt into his arms. Sully looked at Dorothy.

"Can I go in?" Dorothy nodded.

"Andrew's checking on her right now. You go on." Sully walked into the clinic and slipped into the room. Andrew looked up at him, but didn't say anything. When he left the room, Sully walked over and leaned on the bed next to her. He laid his head on her arm and cried quietly.

"Come on Michaela, wake up. You have to wake up. We have Katie and Brian; Colleen and Matthew. You have to wake up." Sully sat that for a long time crying on Michaela's shoulder. Eventually, he felt a hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, Brian was standing there.

"Pa?" Sully stood up and hugged Brian tightly. "She's going to be okay isn't she?" Sully nodded.

"She's going to be fine Brian." He tried to smile, but they both knew what could happen.

"I don't want her to die Pa." Brian started tearing up again. Sully nodded.

"I don't want her to either Brian." Sully responded. They walked out of the clinic, to find Matthew, Horace, and Dorothy, who was still holding Katie. Sully took Katie in his arms.

"I can watch her Sully," Dorothy started but he shook his head.

"I'm alright, but thanks Dorothy. She may be the only thing I have left of Michaela."

"Sully!" Dorothy scolded looking at Brian and Matthew."

"Has anybody told Colleen?" Sully asked and Horace nodded.

"I wired her a few hours ago. They said it would be best if she was on the next train." Sully nodded in agreement.

"We want to give her a chance to be here." Brian started crying, but he balled up his fists and his face got red.

"Would you quit saying that?!" He looked around at everybody. "She's not going to die! My ma is not going to die!" Brian exclaimed. "I already lost my Ma once! I'm not going to lose this Ma too!"

"Brian," Matthew called out, but Brian had already run away from the clinic. He turned to Sully. "I think Brian should stay with me at the homestead for a few days." Sully nodded. It felt like things were falling apart. Why would somebody shoot at Michaela? She had to be alright, didn't she?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: My first two chapters were based almost primarily on the episode, starting with chapter three, it will be my own work for fanfiction =) Thank you. **

When Colleen got off the train, Matthew was there to take her to the Chateau. She held her suitcase in her hand and hugged him with her free hand.

"What's going on Matthew? I got Horace's telegram, but all it said was that I needed to come home immediately." There was a look of concern resting on her face, but it was strongest in her eyes. Matthew looked at the ground and exhaled before looking up at Colleen.

"Dr. Mike was shot." Matthew replied matter of factly.

"What?" Colleen cried out. She dropped her suitcase on the ground. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She hasn't woken up since Andrew did the operation Colleen." He replied solemnly.

"I want to go see her."

"That's why you're here." Colleen nodded.

"Let's go." Matthew picked up her suitcase and headed for the wagon. He put her bag in the back and then helped her into the seat next to his. When he looked over at Colleen, he saw that she was crying.

"She's going to be okay, Colleen." Matthew said and she turned to her to him. Her eyes were puffy and her face was almost as red as her hair.

"How can you say that? She didn't wake up Matthew!" She exclaimed. He didn't say anything because he knew it was her pain and confusion talking. She sobbed halfway to the Chateau without saying anything. Finally she looked up at Matthew. "When did it happen? Do you know who did it?" Matthew shook his head.

"It's been several hours ago. We don't know, but Daniel and some of the men from town had a search party out looking for them." Colleen rubbed her nose.

"I'm surprised you didn't go."

"There are a few reasons I didn't. Somebody had to be here to get you off the train," he started.

"And?" Colleen pushed.

"I'm not sure what I'd do if I found the person who hurt her." Matthew replied. Colleen nodded and then she jerked in the wagon.

"Where's Katie?" She asked.

"Miss Dorothy has her. Sully and Dorothy have been trading her back and forth."

"She's so young-" Colleen said and her voice trailed off without finishing her sentence. Matthew nodded because he knew where she was going. Finally, they got to the Chateau and she practically jumped off the wagon.

"Colleen!" He exclaimed. She rushed across the porch and into the clinic. Colleen nearly ran Andrew over when she darted into the room.

"Colleen?" He asked. Then, Matthew walked through the door. "I'm sorry, I really am." He looked at Colleen. She turned to Matthew and fell into his arms crying.

"Dr. Mike passed away?" Andrew shook his head.

"No!" He said quickly, "she just hasn't woken up yet either." Colleen continued to cry.

"Where is she?" She asked and Andrew walked them into the room. He slipped out of the room because it was crowded with Sully, Brian and Katie. Colleen brushed her hand against the back of Brian's neck. He looked up at her and jumped up.

"Colleen!" He hugged her. "I don't want something to happen to Ma." Brian cried. She held onto him and tears dripped from her eyes as well. Colleen shook her head.

"She's going to be okay Brian. Ma's been through a lot worse. I've been with her through a lot of procedures. Sometimes things happen."

"But she hasn't even woken up yet." Brian wailed. Colleen looked at Sully and then back down at Brian.

"I'm sure she's just sleeping Brian. She doesn't get much sleep with Katie being so little." Colleen reasoned. Brian looked at Katie sleeping on the bed next to Michaela.

"You might be right." He said and wiped his eyes.

"Matthew? Colleen?" Sully asked gruffly. He cleared his throat.

"Yes Pa?" She said.

"Could I talk to you?"

"Of course." Matthew replied and they stood up.

"Brian, stay here with your Ma and Katie alright?" Sully asked and Brian nodded. They walked into the clinic and closed the door behind them.

"What's wrong Sully?" Matthew questioned. Colleen pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders and crossed her arms.

"If something happens to your Ma, I want you to take care of Brian and Katie."

"What?" Colleen asked. Sully couldn't look at her.

"You can stay at the house, or if you want to go back to the homestead. I'll clean out the clinic and Colleen, you can have the medical supplies and all your Ma's books." Sully sounded like he was on the verge of tears himself. Matthew shook his head and touched Sully's arm.

"Dr. Mike's going to be alright, Sully. I know it." Sully couldn't look at them; but his voice was cracking.

"Please tell me you'll just take care of your brother and sister." They both nodded.

"Of course we will Pa," Colleen replied, "nothing will happen to Brian and Katie. But nothing is going to happen to you or Ma either." Sully nodded and walked out of the clinic. Colleen and Matthew looked at each other. Colleen took a step forward like she was going to go after him, but Matthew touched her shoulder.

"I think this is something he has to do on his own." He stated.

* * *

><p>Sully hated leaving Michaela, but he needed to go to the one place he felt he could figure out some answers. The church. He walked up to the door and saw Reverend Johnson at the front picking up his Bible from the pulpit.<p>

"Reverend."

"Sully," he responded, "I heard about Dr. Quinn, but I wanted to give the family a chance to be with her. Has Colleen arrived from Denver yet?"

"She got here a little while ago."

"I'm glad," he paused and sat down on the front pew, "but I have a feeling that you didn't come to tell me that." Sully sat down next to him.

"I lost Abigail so many years ago, why would any God want to take another wife away from me?" Reverend Johnson exhaled.

"I don't understand all the ways of our Lord, Sully and I don't claim to know. Some things happen and we will never understand them."

"I just don't want him to take Michaela away from me."

* * *

><p>Andrew was examining Michaela when her eyes blinked. She opened them slowly and looked at him.<p>

"Andrew?" She asked weakly.

"Colleen! Brian!" He exclaimed. "She's awake!" Andrew rushed into the main room.

"Can we go in?" Andrew nodded.

"Immediately." Brian rushed into the room with his Ma and Katie.

"I'll go look for Sully." Matthew said and walked out of the clinic.

"Is she really going to be okay?" Colleen asked.

"She's awake, we'll take it one step at a time."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Some of chapter four is from the episode. That will be italicized. **

_Michaela was lying on the bed. Her vision was fuzzy as she tried to focus on those around her. She saw Sully sitting by the edge of the bed. Colleen, Brian and Matthew were standing up behind him. Her breathing was rapid._

"_Sully?" She asked quietly._

"_Don't try to talk. Just rest." Michaela looked at them and then looked in the air as if she were trying to think of something, but couldn't find the words. _

"_Katie."_

"_She's right outside Ma." Colleen responded. _

"_We're here. We're all right here. We're safe." Sully softly replied. Michaela closed her eyes and rested against the pillow. There were tears in her eyes and one flowed down her cheek. _They sat there with her, and after a little while, Andrew walked into the room.

"I don't mean to disturb everybody, but I need to examine Michaela." Mathew looked to Colleen and Brian.

"Come on, we'll go outside."

"I'll check on Katie Ma." Colleen said and the three of them walked outside. Andrew used his stethoscope to hear Michaela's heart, while Sully talked to her about the man who shot her.

"Do you know who it was?" He asked. "Have you ever seen him before?"

"No." She said. "_He was real dressed. As if he had just stepped off the train. He, he asked if I was the doctor." She paused, "and that's when he…" she paused with an exhale. "I remember Hank coming in and carrying me out of the clinic." She paused. "Nothing."_

"_Your pulse is strengthening. It's been three days and I'd say it's safe for you to go home. But you need rest, two weeks at least."_

"_She'll get her rest, I'll make sure of it." Sully chimed in and they both looked at him._

"_Good." _She turned to Andrew.

"Thank you for everything Andrew." He nodded quietly.

"You're welcome Michaela. I'm glad to see you are doing so much better."

"I think I should stay another day."

"Are you not feeling any better?" Sully asked her.

"I think another day of rest would be beneficial." Michaela replied.

"I'll keep you here until you feel well enough to go Michaela, you know that." Andrew responded. Michaela nodded and there was a knock on the door. When they looked up, Loren was there with Jake.

"Horace got a telegram from Daniel, Dr. Mike." Loren said.

"What's it say Loren?" Sully asked.

"He found the guy that shot ya," Jake responded looking at Loren.

"He's taking him into Denver for a trial. He's shot three other doctors in the territory. His wife had an operation, but she died and so he's been killing doctors. He'll be swinging by the end of the week." Loren said excitedly. Michaela was feeling out of breath and leaned up against the pillow. Everybody was glad to have her back and to know that she was okay; especially Sully.

* * *

><p>"Ma?" Colleen asked walking into the room later in the day. Michaela looked over at her. "You don't have to go back to the clinic if you don't want to." Colleen and Katie were sitting on the bed next to Michaela, and she had Katie's hands.<p>

"I'll go back soon Colleen. Andrew says that I need to rest for two weeks and then I'll go back," she paused, "but you have to be in Denver don't you?" Colleen shook her head.

"It's only been a few days Ma, and it's more important for me to be here with you. And Pa, Brian, Katie and Matthew."

"I'm glad you're here for them."

"So are you." Colleen responded smiling. "We are all so glad that you are doing better."

"Andrew is quite a doctor." Michaela smiled and Colleen sighed gently with a smile.

"He is, we're grateful for that."

"I had a good teacher here in Colorado Springs." Andrew said as he walked into the room. "I'll check you again before leaving for the night."

"Thank you again Andrew." He nodded.

"It's a pleasure. See you Colleen, bye Katie." Then he walked out of the room.

"I don't know what I'll do the next several weeks. I can't go to the clinic or do my usual household things. I can't leave that up to Sully and Brian." Colleen smiled.

"You can and you will; you have to Ma." She nodded.

"I suppose you're right." She kissed Katie's hands. "It's not like it's a permanent situation."

"I have to go home and get Katie her lunch and do a few things, but I'll be back tomorrow." Colleen squeezed Michaela's hand one more time before she picked up Katie and headed out of the room.

"Bye Katie," Michaela smiled, "I'll see you later Colleen."

* * *

><p>"When are you going to be able to come home Ma?" Brian asked. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed about dinner time. Matthew was walking around by the bed.<p>

"Soon Brian, very soon."

"Do you need us to do anything for you?" Matthew asked looking at her and she laughed.

"No, but I want you to know something."

"What Ma?" Brian questioned. Michaela looked seriously at the two boys. She had raised them for the last six years and she did love them as her own; they were hers through adoption, and love.

"I want you to know I love you very much." She said reaching for Brian's hand and he held it.

"We know."

"Yeah Dr. Mike, everything's going to be fine." Matthew replied.

"You'll come home and things will go back like it never happened." She nodded.

"I wish it could Brian, but it won't ever be the same. Just remember how much I love you."

"Okay Ma."

* * *

><p>That evening, Sully went to see Michaela before leaving for home.<p>

"Oh I love you Sully." She said and kissed him gently. "That's something I never want you to forget."

"How could I forget it, Michaela? I love you too. We have our life together, children, our home. I want to spend every moment of my life with you."

"But you need to be getting home for the children."

"Brian and Colleen can watch Katie for a little while; I wouldn't be anywhere but here with you." He replied and she smiled.

"Thank you, for everything Sully." He shook his head.

"I love you and I'll always be here for you." She nodded and her eyes started to close. He sat with her until she fell asleep. When Andrew came in for the last time, Sully walked out of the clinic and headed home. He was thankful that she was still with them; the family had come so close to losing her; but it really seemed like she'd be okay.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Andrew stood on the porch of the Sully home with devastating news. He didn't want to have to tell Sully, Colleen and Brian; but he felt it was his responsibility. After knocking on the door, he stood there waiting for somebody to answer. It was only about seven-thirty, but he wanted them to know as soon as possible. Andrew saw a mixture of relief and worry in Brian's eyes as he opened the door. He took off his hat and stepped into the house.

"Good morning Brian."

"Hi Andrew." Brian said. "Pa!" He called up the stairs. "Colleen!" Matthew walked over to them from his seat in the chair by the fire.

"What's going on Andrew?" He nodded, but didn't say anything until Sully and Colleen walked down the stairs. Andrew didn't take the usual moment to notice the pink in Colleen's cheeks and her smile as she looked over at him, or the way her red hair brushed her face and shoulders. He rang out his hands as he stood there.

"Andrew, why don't you come and sit down?" Sully asked gesturing to the table. Andrew walked over and sat down in the chair furthest from the front door. Sully stood next to him, Brian sat in the chair across from him and Colleen and Matthew stood behind Brian. For a few minutes, Andrew looked at each of them without saying anything. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak.

"I… I'm sorry," he started, "there was bleeding… that… that I didn't see. Something happened and I couldn't stop it." Sully touched him.

"What happened?" His voice was practically shaking.

"Ma's okay, isn't she?" Brian asked. Andrew looked at him with tears in the corners of his eyes and shook his head gently.

"There wasn't anything I could do for her, we lost her this morning." Colleen collapsed and Matthew caught her before she hit the floor. He helped her into the chair between Brian and Andrew; slowly she was able to look at him and blink her eyes. Andrew looked at Matthew, and then looked to Sully. "I wish there was something I could do, or say. I can't believe I missed something." Sully had a firm grasp on the chair, and his voice was thin.

"It wasn't your fault Andrew. Even Michaela lost patients different times." Andrew looked at Brian and saw the tears running down his cheeks and his eyes were puffy.

"Ma's gone?" Matthew put his hand on Brian's shoulder and squeezed it.

"Yeah Brian." Brian stood up and walked over to the door, but Katie woke up and started crying upstairs.

"I'll get her." He rushed up the stairs and picked up his little sister in his arms. "I'm here for you Katie." He cried holding onto her, because he knew she would never remember her Ma. His Ma would never be able to hold Katie, or be there to comfort him again. He took her and walked past everybody at the table and rushed outside. Brian put her down on the ground and walked towards the barn.

"Brian," Matthew's voice called from the front door. He walked down the stairs and picked up Katie as he headed towards the barn.

"No Matthew! I won't believe it! Ma's not dead, she's going to be fine!" He said and got onto Taffy and rode away from the house. Matthew watched him until he couldn't see Brian anymore and then he walked into the house. Sully was sitting with Andrew, and Colleen was sitting in the chair by the fire. He walked over to her and leaned down by the chair. Katie crawled into Colleen's lap and she looked up at Matthew.

"How can this happen to Ma, Matthew? She was fine. We talked to her, she'd been fine for three days. Why did she have to die?" Matthew looked into Colleen's pain wreaked eyes.

"I don't know Colleen." He paused. "But you got to see her, you were home from school in time to be able to talk to her."

"And you think that's okay?" She questioned. "Ma's gone and I'm supposed to be alright just because I saw her?" Colleen rushed up the stairs leaving Matthew standing with Andrew and Sully. Matthew walked over to them.

"I'm so sorry," Andrew said again looking between Sully and Matthew. "You know if there was anything I could have done, I'd do it. Michaela's a wonderful person and it'll be hard to lose her. She was a wonderful influence on the medical community as well as an amazing person in Colorado Springs." Matthew and Sully nodded.

"I need to go talk to the Reverend." Sully said and stood up.

"So soon?" Matthew questioned and he nodded.

"We need to prepare for the burial." He said firmly and walked out the front door.

* * *

><p>Dorothy and Grace were in the telegraph office with Matthew as he sent a telegram to Elizabeth and Rebecca Quinn. They were both crying and holding onto each other.<p>

"I can't believe that Michaela's gone." Dorothy cried and Grace shook her head.

"Dr. Mike will be missed around here, that's for sure." Grace replied. They both looked at Matthew as he spoke to Horace.

"Who's watching over Katie?" Dorothy asked and then Matthew looked over at her.

"Sully has her right now. Daniel is going to be coming back and staying at the homestead with all of us. I'll also be staying there with Colleen and Brian. I can't go back to my homestead now." They nodded.

"I think I have it all." Horace replied and read over what Matthew wanted the telegram to say and he nodded. "I'll send it out now." Horace sat back down and went to typing the telegram that would go to Boston, Massachusetts.

"How are you all holding up at your place?" Grace asked and Dorothy tilted her head waiting for the answer. Matthew crumbled up a piece of paper in his hand and threw it down.

"We're all upset Grace. Andrew was only at the house a few hours ago."

"I can only imagine how Sully is feeling right now." Grace stated.

"Losing his first wife, and now losing Michaela." Dorothy said gently and they both nodded as if they were talking among themselves silently. Matthew walked out of the telegraph office and went to find Brian. When he'd gone past the church, he saw Sully in the graveyard, so he didn't bother him; but he needed to find Brian. He thought that Colleen would be at the Chateau with Andrew. She was doing so well, everybody had the same question. Why did Dr. Mike have to die?


	6. Chapter 6

"We will never understand why some people have to leave. Doctor Quinn was a wonderful doctor and a respectable person in this community. She was a wife and mother. I don't understand why God chose to take her, but I know that things will be alright. She's in heaven with many of the people we've lost over the years." Reverend Johnson paused. He had his hands clasped in front of him as he looked down at the casket of a friend and beloved doctor. "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's , though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Dorothy looked around and saw the people who loved Michaela most. She missed her closest friend and grieved for the family. Sully and the children stood beside the casket Robert E. made. Colleen had on a black dress with her knitted shawl around her shoulders. Her long auburn hair was pulled into a bun on the top of her head. Sully as wearing a black suit as well as Matthew and Brian. Daniel stood behind him holding Katie. She was looking around and Dorothy thought she knew who Katie was looking for. Matthew put his hand on Colleen's shoulder and she shrugged it off. As soon as the funeral was over, she darted out of the cemetery. As she ran across the bridge and into the street, Colleen started gasping for air. She rushed into the private and quiet sanctuary of the clinic. Colleen collapsed into her Ma's chair and cried resting her head on the desk. It was an hour before Colleen heard footsteps in the doorway. The door was closed so she stood up and walked around the table and went through the medical supplies. She sat on the table and held her mother's stethoscope. The door opened, Colleen looked up to see Matthew standing there. He reached out for her, but she didn't move.

"Why'd she have to go Matthew? Ma was supposed to be fine, wasn't she? Andrew did the surgery. He told us she'd be okay."

"Why don't you come to the homestead? Brian and Daniel went home with Katie. Sully's in the cemetery." He paused. "You don't have to talk to me Colleen. Miss Dorothy, Grace, a lot of people are here for you. You can't go back to Denver this way. You can't keep your feelings to yourself."

"Back to Denver? I may never go back to school."

"Colleen."

"I need to be here for Brian, Matthew. Colleen and Brian need me to be here with them."

"You've wanted to be a doctor for years. You can't give that up Colleen." She looked up at him and gripped the stethoscope with both hands.

"My desire to be a doctor was related to ma. But she's gone and I don't want to have anything to do with it." Matthew nodded as he watched the tears forming in her eyes. The day of Dr. Mike's funeral was not the time to have any kind of rational discussion. She raised Brian and Colleen. They were taking it harder since she's the second Ma in ten years that they've lost. "I need to see Katie." Colleen finally spoke up after a long pause.

"What?"

'She's all we have left of Ma Matthew. I want to see Katie."

"I'll take you to the homestead, but don't say that. She's not all you have left." Colleen looked at him as she stood up and walked outside to the horse. Matthew helped her onto the horse and he climbed up and they headed towards the house. When they got there, Brian was sitting on the porch alone. The sun was going down and the golden sun was illuminating the sky.

"Colleen." Brian said standing up as Matthew helped her down. She walked over to him and he hugged her tightly. "Where were you?" He questioned. Colleen was quiet, before she looked at him.

"I wanted to remember Ma. I figured the place to do that was the clinic." She paused. "Where's Katie?"

"She's sleeping upstairs." He sighed. "She won't remember Ma, Colleen."

"I know." She replied.

"We'll be here to tell Katie all about her." Matthew interrupted.

"Where's Pa?"

"I'm sure he'll be home soon. But he needs to think and grieve Brian." Colleen pulled her shawl around her shoulders as the wind picked up. She put an arm around Brian and he rested against her shoulder.

"I really miss Ma."

"We all miss Dr. Mike, Brian." Matthew responded. The front door opened and they all saw Daniel standing there.

"Come on in you guys." He said. They walked up the stairs. It was time to prepare their minds to live a life without Dr. Mike. She took them in and raised them. Now it was time to take everything she had taught them and care for her daughter and their little sister Katie.


	7. Chapter 7

A week later, Colleen was helping Andrew at the Chateau.

"Thanks for letting me help you Andrew. I need something else to think about."

"Any time Colleen. I'm glad you're here. I need your help." Colleen looked at him, and he saw tears in the corners of her eyes. He wrapped his arm around her. "It'll be okay Colleen." She shook her head.

"Matthew, Brian and Pa want me to go back to school." Andrew nodded.

"I can understand that. You've worked so hard. Everybody wants you to be a doctor like you wanted to. You can still do it."

"No I can't." She walked away. "My ma's gone. Dr. Mike's gone."

"I know." He tried to be comforting."

"No, my Ma died when I was thirteen. She died because of a rattlesnake bite. I've told you that before." She paused. "Now somebody shot Dr. Mike?" She took and a breath. "I'm afraid to go back to school. I don't want to let Brian or Matthew out of my sight. If I go back to school, is Katie going to get really sick? I don't want to lose anymore of my family."

"You won't Colleen. Everything will be okay." She took a breath and Andrew could hear how her nose was becoming stuffed up.

"Two weeks ago Ma didn't realize she'd be dying either."

"Colleen." She walked over and nearly feel on top of Andrew.

"I miss her Andrew." She cried as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I miss her so much." Andrew stood there and let her cry it out. He didn't have the answers for her. Sometimes it's just best to let her cry.

* * *

><p>Brian skipped school and went to the clinic. He went into the room his Ma died in and sat on the bed. Tears streamed out of his eyes. Brian rested against the bed and closed his eyes. The first thing he saw in his imagination was the thought of his Ma- Charlotte Cooper. He was so little when she died that he didn't think he remembered her clearly; but he remembered her soft voice and warm arms around him. There were flashbacks of his childhood. Then, he smiled remembering the first time he met Doctor Michaela Quinn. She had the softest hands he'd ever felt. His Ma worked with her hands to take care of the farm, but when they first met Dr. Mike she'd never done outside work. She was a city person and had everybody to do things for her. Because of his dreaming, Brian didn't hear Matthew walk into the room. He opened his eyes and saw him standing there.<p>

"Brian." Matthew stated. Brian blinked but didn't move. "Why aren't you in school?"

"Ma died in this room." Matthew nodded.

"I know Brian."

"Not this bed, but she died in this room. Now Ma's gone too." He paused and looked down at his hands. "Why did both our Mas have to die?"

"I don't know."

"It's not fair!" He exclaimed. "Why do we have to lose two of the people we love? I don't want to say goodbye to Ma."

"None of us did Brian, it just happened."

"I want to find the guy who hurt her."

"They already did. Loren and Jake told us that."

"I want to know why he took my Ma."

"We can't ask him that."

"I want to do something Matthew! I'm angry and upset, and I can't do anything about it." He stormed towards the door when Matthew grabbed him and turned him around.

"Don't you think that everybody is upset Brian? Why don't you think about how Sully feels? He probably wants to go after somebody too, but he doesn't. It took everything I had not to go find that man myself after he shot Dr. Mike; but I couldn't. What about Colleen and Katie? You can't run off and do something crazy. We're a family, we have to be here for each other Brian." Brian hugged Matthew tightly.

"I don't know Matthew. I just wish the pain would go away." He cried. "I wish Ma could be here with us." Matthew started to cry just a little as he nodded.

"I know Brian. I wish she could be too. We have to go on and do what we can for Katie and Colleen. As their brothers we have to be strong for them."

"I don't know if I can." Brian said looking up at his older brother.

"We have to try. I'll be here if you need me." Brian hugged his brother again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I love reviews, really I do... So please make sure if you review that you are commenting your thoughts and opinions on THIS story... Please refrain from making comments about other stories. Everything will be done in time. Thank you. =)**

**D.M.Q.  
><strong>


End file.
